Rule of Life Questionnaire

Questions for Self-Reflection

How Can I Live a Life of Integrity and

Pursue a Life of Balance and Holistic Discipleship?

1) Reality Check/Heart Assessment 

Would I say that my identity is grounded in God’s story or is it grounded in something else?  What forms my prime identity?

How do I understand myself in relationship to God? Do I see myself as both broken and beautiful? In what ways? Do I have a clear sense of God’s love for me and his delight in me? Do I feel close to God of do I feel distant?

How am I growing in knowledge of God and knowledge of myself? How am I growing in closeness with the Lord?

How am I growing in my ability to hear from the Lord - to discern his invitations to me? What practices might help me better hear from the Lord more clearly?

How am I loving my neighbor well?  What steps could I take to more fully do this?

How am I growing in the Fruit of the Spirit? Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control? How might I cultivate these virtues?

How am I growing in Humility? Gratefulness? Generosity? Selflessness? Hospitality? Understanding of Others? How might I cultivate these virtues?

Do I have a teachable spirit or do I have a tendency to think “I know best”? Do I listen well to others?  How can I cultivate a posture of humility and learning?

When I am with others, am I truly present to them?  Do I truly listen? Or am I distracted by other things in my life?  How can I be more truly present in all of my relationships and interactions?

When faced with a conflict, do I have a tendency to engage in “fight or flight”?  If I have a tendency with either one, how might I learn to engage conflict with humility, truth, and love?

Do I easily forgive others?  If not, what presents me from forgiving?  How can I move towards forgiveness?  Is there anyone I am called to forgive right now?  Is there anyone with whom I am called to take an extra step - the step of reconciliation?

Do I live my life in fear or in faith in God?  What areas of life particularly bring up fear?  How might I cultivate an attitude of trust and faith in God?

Are there any areas in my life/wounds from past circumstances from which I need to seek healing?  How might I seek out this healing?

Are there particular idols, addictions, or vices (selfishness/narcissism, pride, envy, greed, lust, wrath, gluttony, sloth/apathy, over-controlling, critical, judgmental, emotionally or physically abusive, distorted sexual appetites, etc.) in my life that by the grace of God, I am called to give up?  What steps or practices might I take up to help me release these idols, addictions, and vices?

Do I control my tongue, using it as an instrument of kindness and truth, or do I rather use it as a tool of gossip, lies, and hurt?  How might I speak in ways that that encourage, edify, build up, and lovingly exhort others? 

What motivates me?  What are some of my deepest hopes and desires in life?  (Get in touch with these desires.  Don’t suppress them, ignore them, or try to justify them away.  Be present to all of them.  Know that having desires is good.  Desires can often propel us forward in life.  They can also become distorted over time and move us in the wrong direction.  Make a list of your desires, spend some time reflecting on them, and one-by-one slowly give them to the Lord.  Ask yourself the following questions.)

• Are there desires that seem to be in touch with God’s call on my life? 

• Are there any desires that seem to be out of touch with what God desires for me?  

• Are there any unrecognized desires to explain why some of my actions in life are not in line with what I say I believe?  

• Are there any desires in my life that seem in line with God’s desires for me yet nevertheless go unmet? What is God’s invitation in these circumstances?

Spend some time releasing your desires over to the Lord and asking the Holy Spirit to transform the ones that need to be transformed and to ignite the ones that need to be ignited.

Considering My Roles

What are the main roles in my life and how is God inviting me to best live out these roles?

List all your roles that you play in life (I.e., mother, father, teacher, boss, sister, board member, parent, mentor, etc. etc.)

What are the most important roles that you play?

How would you prioritize these roles and relationships in regards to each other?

Considering my Relationships

How can I nurture the relationships God has given me?

Who are all the people with whom I relate on a regular basis? 

What are the most important relationships in my life? Am I giving adequate attention to these relationships? How best can I nurture these relationships?

Where do I need to set more boundaries with certain relationships? 

Where do I need to create space for certain relationships?

What relationships of mine are the most life-giving and glorifying to God?

Do I have any relationships that are not edifying to God or myself? Are destructive?. What is God’s invitation to me in these relationships?

Do I believe that all people have been created in the image of God?  How does this effect how I interact with all people?

Who is my neighbor? How do I best love them?

Considering My Resources

How can I be generous with all that God has given me?  Here we will consider Steve Macchia’s Time, Treasure, Temple, and Talents

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General Questions

Do I believe that God is generous towards me and that He will provide even as I give my time and talent, and treasure away?  How can I rest deeply in God’s generosity towards me and all of creation?

Are there any fears I have when it comes to my time, talent, temple, and treasure?

Do I manage my resources or do they manage me?

Questions about Time

What are my priorities in life in relationship to work, family, friends, neighbors, church, and God, etc.?

Is the way I spend my time reflective of those priorities?  

Do I have boundaries in my life so that I can say “yes” to the things that are priorities and “no” to the things that are peripheral/unimportant?

Are there areas in my life where I give too much time? Too little time?   Are their activities in my life God is inviting me to give up (at least for this next season)? 

How am I loving God and neighbor through my time? Am I generous with my time? How can I operate out of a mindset of abundance and be more generous with my time?

How is God calling me to use my time in this next season?

Questions about Treasure

What has God given me? (Money, Home, Possessions). How am I loving God and neighbor through my treasure? 

How am I caring for the treasure that God has given me?

Am I generous with my treasure?  How can I operate out of a mindset of abundance and be more generous with my treasure?  

How is God inviting me to use my treasure in this next season?

Questions about Temple

Am I taking care of myself, “the Temple of the Holy Spirit” – my mind, my body, my emotions, and my soul? 
How has God created me? What aspects of the world, what hobbies or skills, what things delight me? Do I make room for these things in my life?  
How can I better care for myself in all these aspects in this next season?

Questions about Talents

What gifts, talents, skills, and passions has God given me? How am I using them, whether that is in work or an avocation (non-paid work and passion projects)?  I

Are there areas of giftedness I need to grow and develop? How?

What new piece of knowledge or skill may God be inviting me to learn?

How am I loving God and neighbor through my talents? Am I generous with my talents? How can I operate out of a mindset of abundance and be more generous with my talents?

How is God inviting me to use my talents in this next season?

Considering the 5 S’s of the Spiritual Life

How can I live out a balanced life of discipleship? Note:  The rhythms we create in each season are done in the context of our roles, relationships, and resources and are effected by the 5 S’s - Stages of Life and Faith, Seasons of Faith, our Special Wiring, our Besetting sins, and our Strengths.

What stage of life do I inhabit in this season?  What opportunities and limitations does this stage of life present to me?

What is most compelling to me in this stage of faith?  Learning more about God?  Learning to pray more deeply?  Serving others?  Going Deeper in Community?  Etc. etc.?

What season of the spiritual life do I reside in at this time?  Given this season, what spiritual practices might best nurture my soul at this time?

How has God uniquely wired me?  What is my spiritual temperament? What are my spiritual gifts? How has God called me?

What are my spiritual strengths?  Where do I most struggle with sin?

Given these realities, what spiritual practices might best nurture my soul at this time?

Considering My Rhythms

UP

How am I actively participating in the worship of God each week?  What new practice in this area may God be inviting me into in this upcoming season?

IN

Head:  How am I seeking ways to learn more about God?  What new practice in this area may God be inviting me into in this upcoming season?

Heart:  How am I seeking to abide in Jesus, open myself up to His love and transformation, and grow in the Fruit of the Spirit?  What new practice in this area may God be inviting me into in this upcoming season?

Hand:  How am I serving others? Is my service to others forming my heart and mind into the likeness of Christ and is it truly helping others?  Am I intentional in my serving or do I pursue it more reactively or robotically?

OUT

Vocation: How am I loving God and neighbor through my work (paid and avocation)?  What next steps in this area may God be inviting me into in this upcoming season?

All that we do is aimed at the reconciliation, restoration, and renewal of ourselves and the world.  Sometimes, however, God gives us a particular call in life.  Has God laid a particular passion on my heart?  How might God be inviting me to use my time, talent, treasure, and temple to fulfill this call in this next season, a future season, or over the course of a lifetime? (Note: A call be lived out in paid work or in an avocation)

Mission: How am I being a witness to the Good News of Jesus (through Word, Deed, or Power)?  What next steps in this area may God be inviting me into in this upcoming season?

Compassion: How am I loving and serving others? What next steps in this area may God be inviting me into in this upcoming season? How am I living out God’s call for mercy, justice, compassion, and reconciliation in the world?

DOWN

How am I finding spaces of rest, self-care, restoration, and time with God?   What new practice in this area may God be inviting me into in this upcoming season?

What things am I being called to relinquish in order to find these spaces?

TOGETHER

How am I doing life-on-life discipleship with others?  

Who is helping me in the discipleship process and who am I helping?

Are there people I trust with whom I can share my deepest joys and sorrows? With whom can I be honest about my spiritual walk with Christ?  

How do I build regular times of celebration and fun with others into my life?

How may be God be inviting me into deeper spiritual community in this next season?