Lament

“Laments are prayers of petition arising out of need. But lament is not simply the presentation of a list of complaints, nor merely the expression of sadness over difficult circumstances. Lament in the Bible is the liturgical response to the reality of suffering and engages God in the context of pain and trouble. The hope of lament is that God would respond to human suffering that is wholeheartedly communicated through lament. ”
— Soong-Chan Rah, Prophetic Lament

What is the Practice of Lament?

So when is the last time you engaged either personally or corporately in the practice of lament?

If your answer is never, you are not alone. Many of us growing up in the American Church were never taught to lament. If anything, we were taught to avoid lament. Some of our churches seemingly even asked us to check our difficult emotions (our sadness, anger, hurt, or you name it) at the door of our worship services so that we could work up happy feelings as we sought to praise God with exuberance and joy. This, however, has been to our detriment, for lament is an important part of our life together as followers of Jesus and is an important part of our individual discipleship. As long as we live in a world where God’s Kingdom is “here but not yet,” there is pain and suffering in this world and in our lives with which we need to grapple. Who better to grapple with these hard realities than God himself?

The practice of lament is an exercise in taking all our sadness, anger, disillusionment, disappointment, grief, and despair over the broken aspects of our lives and world into prayer before the Lord. We do so with complete honesty, knowing that the Lord knows our every thought anyway, and that there is absolutely nothing that we cannot share with the Lord. The Lord can handle it all. But lament is not just mindless complaint or an opportunity for us to get endlessly stuck in a rut where we increasingly turn into ourselves. As Joan and Steve Huyser-Honig say,

“Biblical lament is not complaint that goes nowhere.  It’s the people of God planting seeds of hope in the soil of exasperation and despair, expecting the Lord will come through in the end.”

So lament ultimately is a practice of hope in the Lord and intimacy with him. As we grapple with the hard realities of this world and name our emotions and desires surrounding those realities, we find ourselves being drawn into the loving arms of the One who himself knows great suffering and pain. We find ourselves learning to find abundant life even in the midst of a world gone wrong. We find ourselves having hope in the Lord who will one day make all things right. Friends, let us learn how to practice the prayer of Lament.

A great place to begin to learn how to lament is to pray through the Psalms of Lament. Some examples of lament psalms include: Psalm 6, 10, 13, 17, 22, 25, 30, 31, 69, 73, 86, 88, 102. Check out this short video about these psalms.

 
In times like these, the psalms give us words to lament when we've run out of words ourselves. The Rev. Dr. Carol Bechtel reflects on the psalms, particularl...
 

How to Write Your Own Prayers of Lament

But the lament psalms aren’t about letting emotions go wild. They are a means of bringing these wild emotions to God Himself. - Diana Gruver

Patterns of Lament

There is no one set way to write out your laments, but we do find that the Psalms of Lament, themselves, often follow a general pattern, so you too can follow that pattern.

  1. Address the Lord.

  2. Share our complaints and express our emotions.

  3. Ask for the Lord’s help.

  4. Express our trust in hope in the Lord.

  5. Vow to Continue to Praise the Lord.

Or you can follow a simpler pattern that Dr. Carol Bechtel suggests: Protest, Petition, and Praise. You can check out what she has to say below.

 
The Rev. Dr. Carol Bechtel walks you through how to write your own lament, with a biblical framework based on the psalms. Carol is professor of Old Testament...
 

However, you choose to approach this, write down your lament and offer to this the Lord. Need some prompts for helping you write your lament? Check out the questions below.

Questions to Ponder As You Write Your Laments

  1. Where does there seem to be a disconnect between God’s promises and the life you lead?

  2. Where does there seem to be a disconnect between God’s promises and the state of the world?

  3. Where do you witness oppression and injustice in the world?

  4. How are you personally experiencing loss, hurt, anger, disillusionment, disappointment, failure, sickness, death, broken relationships, and broken dreams?

  5. What emotions arise in you as you ponder the questions above? Having difficult identifying your emotions? Then check out this list of emotions.

  6. What desires arise in you as you ponder the questions above?

  7. How do you experience God in this moment? Anger? Trust? Disappointment? Hope?

  8. How would you like God to help you in this moment?

  9. As hard is it may be to ponder this in this moment: How have you seen God be trustworthy towards you in the past? Does that give you any hope for the situation you are lamenting at the moment?

  10. As hard as it may be to ponder this in this moment: Name all the ways that God is worthy to be praised.

After you have spent time with these questions, focus on one or two areas of lament and take these to the Lord. You need not lament everything at one time, and in fact, trying to do so might overwhelm you. Then write your lament down according to one of the two patterns suggested above. Be sure to be honest. Don’t filter out your emotions or desires because you think they are ugly or “un-Christian”. Bring them to the Lord and over time, watch for how he will draw you closer to himself and transform even your most difficult emotions and desires. This process of intimacy and transformation may not come immediately - in fact, it may be a long process, but trust in the good intentions that God has towards you as you lament before him.

Resources for Lament

Also, be sure to listen to Rev. Kristen’s sermon on Psalm 137 and Lament.